CHATTANOOGA

Fiery and brown, leaves and trees lining the sidewalks. A charming little coffeehouse tucked inside an old historic home. Sunset setting the gray skies on fire. An elderly couple to my left and a group of twenty-somethings to my right, all enjoying each other’s company and taking time to just be. People working, learning, creating everywhere around me.

I love my city.

After living half an hour away for the past 5 years, being able to call Chattanooga home just feels right. It’s the perfect city for me right now: not too big, not too small. Modern, but moves at a pace that is just. slow. enough. Outdoorsy, creative, and in the mountains. It’s familiar and close to the people I love, but far enough way that it still feels new, independent, mine. It feels like me. It feels like home.

There is only a month left in this year, and I can’t help but be relieved. It has been one heck of a year, full of work and planning and lots of changes. All good things, but between getting married and working to finish my masters degree, I am in desperate need of a break. My thesis is due in less than one week and I defend it in less than two. Graduation is only three short weeks away, but it still feels so out of reach. I am progressing, but the amount I have left to finish feels so overwhelming.

But today, I’ve found a little corner of peace amidst the crazy. I’m supposed to be working, but something about today makes me want to rest, to embrace the slower pace around me. The slow picking of guitar through my headphones, the coziness, the smell and taste of coffee, the sunset. I just want to be here.

VACATION : MEXICO BEACH, FLORIDA

This past week, I went with my parents on vacation to Mexico Beach, Florida, where we've gone for the past couple of years. It was so nice to have a few days to sit back and do absolutely nothing productive!

All in all, we didn't do too much worth noting--a lot of sitting on the beach, reading, and relaxing. In other words, near perfection.

Since I haven't had a chance to post anything new lately, I figured I would share a few photos from my Instagram feed. If you aren't already following me, you can find me, along with more photos from my trip, here (@britmo)!

One of my favorite things about having an iPhone is always having a (surprisingly decent!) camera on hand. And while I love Instagram, I find the preset filters a little limiting. If you're looking for a good photo editing app, I highly recommend VSCOcam. The interface is great; it's simple and professional, and has unbeatable photo quality. It comes with 10 preset filters, but you can purchase more in the VSCO store. It's one of my favorites!

ENGAGEMENT SESSION

On Memorial Day, Mike and I had our engagement photo session at Chickamauga Battlefield Park in Ft. Oglethorpe, GA. It was a surprisingly great location--lots of grassy fields, plus this cool castle/tower-like monument that we just so happened to go up right at sunset.

We had so much fun, and our photographer is wonderful. Her name is Aimee Burchard, and she is so sweet and so talented! She's also pretty affordable as far as wedding photographers go, so if you're getting married near the Chattanooga area, I would definitely recommend checking her out!

Looking at these pictures makes me think back to the very beginnings of our relationship, way back in the fall of 2008 when we first met. It blows my mind to think about everything we've come through, yet  somehow, we've managed to end up here.




I was thinking of our sophomore year of college today, and I literally could not wrap my mind around the fact that the same guy I was best friends with and not-so-secretly head over heels for back then is not only still my best friend, but he's also my fiancé. What?!

Or two summers ago, the most heartbreaking months of my life, when I thought I had lost him forever. We didn't talk for so long, and grew apart so much; I really thought it was over for good. Yet now, not only is he back in my life, he's about to be my husband in less than 4 months!

I made a photo book to use as our guestbook for the wedding. It has a section where it asked me to describe our "story" in three short paragraphs: how we met, how we fell in love, and how we got engaged. It was so hard for me to even attempt to condense it that much, and if you've known us for any length of time, you will understand!* Our story isn't simple, and it has not been easy to live, yet I could not mean it more when I say that I wouldn't have it any other way.

All photos by AB Photography

*And for those of you who don't know us or our story, well, maybe I'll have to try and tell it sometime. We'll see :)

TAKE A BREAK

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed over the past couple of weeks. It's just that time of the semester, I guess. Luckily, spring break starts at 11:50am today. I'm still stuck in Cleveland (yay, work), but hey, it's a break--I'll take it. Honestly, I'm just ready to be done with school. As much as I love learning, I'm ready to move on to new things. I know, I know--I'll miss it so much when it's over, but I'm ready to start a new adventure and focus on other things.

I want to have more time to:

Write more.
Blog more.
Take more pictures.
Go hiking.
Read.
Go on adventures.
Plan my wedding!
Make things.
Be creative.

I want to have time to just be.

I have a few things that have to get done this week, but I'm hoping I can manage to work in a little me time, too (...that doesn't somehow get eaten up by internet or TV or any other mindless activities. Technology is such a time suck).

A few pictures and pins I'm liking (and that just so happen to describe exactly what I'm wanting):

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight

Top photo credit: one / two (lettering by me)

YES

In case the picture doesn't tell it all, I have news!

Mike and I are engaged!

He actually proposed on January 19 (in Central Park in NYC, no less!), but I haven't had time to think, much less blog. I'm still so excited though! After searching and searching for an available, semi-affordable venue, we finally found one, so the official date is October 20, 2013. Some days, it feels impossibly far, and then others (usually when I'm in planning mode)...it's scary close.

Anyway, I mostly just wanted to update you all on that little life event, but I hope to be writing more soon.

YOUR GRACE IS ENOUGH

via Megan Gilger

I've officially decided: I hate busyness. 

Productivity is good. Busy is definitely not. Even now, the only way I'm managing any free time to blog is because I'm sitting in a nursing home lobby by myself, waiting for students in the class I TA for to finish their service project.* Seriously, the number one thing that I've wanted for weeks is a few hours of absolute quiet, all to myself. Maybe someday...

Anyway, this semester. Whoa. It has been really, really good, but really difficult at the same time (just in a completely different way than last semester!). College is always a bit of a balancing act, but this semester is taking it to a whole new level. 17 credit hours (including 2 senior level psych classes and a science), auditing 1 hour, and TAing for a 63-person class, on top of getting back into a relationship, not to mention keeping myself on track with my relationship with God…yeah, it's slightly nuts. (I realize that this seems pretty run-of-the-mill for a lot of people, but for someone who definitely does not thrive on being crazy-busy all the time, it's a stretch!)

In short, this year so far has been one big lesson to teach me that I'm not perfect, that I really do need God more than anything, and what the meaning of grace really is. For some reason, it can be very hard for me to remember that this is all a process. I'm not going to get it down right away. I'm going to mess up. At the same time, I have to keep trying. That can be a hard balance to find: understanding that His grace makes up for my mistakes because He understands and loves me anyway…

"The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust."

- Psalm 103:13-14

…but not letting that cause me to think that what I do doesn't matter, that I don't have to keep striving to be better.

"Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?"

- Romans 6:1-2

I am so thankful for what I've been given, but sometimes--most of the time--I feel so unbelievably inadequate. As wonderful as it all is--and it is wonderful--it is so much responsibility and I know all too well how incapable I am. I've proven that over and over and over again. After praying and praying for what I wanted so much, now that I actually have it, I'm constantly asking God, "Are You sure about this? I don't know if I can handle it after all!" Yet He's continually reminding me:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

- 2 Corinthians 12:9

If this is where He wants me, He's going to give me the strength to do it correctly. His grace really is enough. Keeping Him first is the key. If only I could remember that…

via Pinterest

Hopefully this balance I'm trying to find will include some free time to blog, but I make no promises! Until next time...

* Thank God for smart phones--my parents got me an iPhone for Christmas. LOVE IT. It is saving my life this semester!

FRIENDS IN UNEXPECTED PLACES

Photo Credit: Johan Lind

I've made a new friend this semester.

His name is Roy, he's 83 years old, and he's one of the sweetest men you will ever meet. Also, he really, really likes soccer.

I first noticed him at the very beginning of this semester. He was sitting by himself on a bench by the soccer field, as he does nearly every single day, and I had such a strong urge to go and talk to him. That doesn't happen to me all that often, and as soon as the thought came, along with it came a million excuses for why I shouldn't.

"I don't know him."
"What would I even say?"
"That's kind of an awkward thing to do."
"I'm not all that great at initiating conversations with people I don't know."
"I've never been good at talking to elderly people."

Blah, blah, blah.

Still, the silly excuses won out, so I smiled (I can do that) and kept walking...and felt really lame about it afterwards.

A couple of weeks later, I had to drop off something before my 3:00 class, so I left 10 minutes earlier than usual. He was sitting there again, and I had to walk right by his bench on my way. I smiled at him, and he gave me a huge smile in return, along with, "Hey! How are you doing?" Well, there was no way I was going to keep walking then, so I went over to him and we chatted for a couple of minutes. He told me all about the soccer game from the night before, and about how great the team was doing, and how much he loved the nice weather. Eventually, I had to continue on to class, but just those few minutes brightened my whole day. Since then, I always try to stop and talk to him when I see him, even if it's only for a second.

So anyway, today has been really rough for me. Overall, I'm doing okay, but there are just those days, you know? After classes, I was feeling really lame, so I just went home and poured a bowl of cereal for lunch (my cabinets are empty--definitely time for a trip to the grocery store!). I took a bite and immediately gagged. Nothing like a spoonful of spoiled milk. Ugh. Off to the PCSU for Chick-fil-A it was. On my way over, I saw Mr. Roy sitting on his bench again. Honestly, I didn't feel like stopping to talk, and was going to settle for a quick wave and a smile and be on my way. Just as I was about to cross the street, though, I couldn't. All I could think was, It's just a minute of small talk. Why pass up the chance to brighten someone else's day, just because I don't feel so awesome? So I made a quick turn and went over to say hi. We chatted for a second, he asked how I was, and I told him I was heading to get lunch. He paused for a second, then asked, "Well, where are you going for lunch?" I told him. Another pause. Then, "Well, can I come with you? Maybe we can sit and eat together!"* Obviously, I wasn't going to pass that up, so off we went to the PCSU. I bought his lunch, so he insisted on buying me a Coke, and we went and sat outside to eat.

It wasn't much, and honestly it was a little awkward at times when I didn't know what to say, but at the same time, it made my day so much better. I was hoping to give what I could to brighten his day a little, but I'm pretty sure he did a million times more for me than I did for him! He even asked me to come sit and watch the soccer game with him on Saturday :) It's just another one of those little things that come from the most unexpected places. Those are always the best.

Until next time (a slightly more serious list of things I like)...

• MacBook Pro. My computer decided to randomly die over fall break, so I decided it was time to make the switch. I am so glad--I love it.
• Psalm 33:20: "We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield." (NIV)**
• SCL: Why I Hate Surrender. I love Jon Acuff and I love Stuff Christians Like. This is one of his serious posts, but it's a good one.
• A Holy Experience: Why It's Worth It to Keep on Hoping. This is from the same blog that this post came from, and it affected me in the exact same way.*** Absolute perfect timing.
• "Jesus Paid It All." This song says everything.

*This was so precious to me. He was so sweet and eager and excited about it. I love it.
**Actually, I really like that whole section--verses 16-22. I can't rescue myself from any situation; I'm not strong enough...even at my strongest. Only God. Even when it seems like He's nowhere to be found, I have to trust that He's going to help me, because seriously, what other hope do I have? Without Him, I'm screwed.
***I have never been a crier, but good grief. God keeps sending me little things that are so perfect at just the right time, and they hit me so hard. I can't help myself!